


tomorrow is a new day

by octotrav



Category: South Park
Genre: Bulimia, Cutting, Kyle Broflovski Centric, Please read with caution, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16044791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octotrav/pseuds/octotrav
Summary: i hurt myself today; to see if i still feel; i focus on the pain; the only thing thats real





	tomorrow is a new day

**Author's Note:**

> hey i wrote this to cope with some internalized garbage so please be respectful if youre going to comment, thanks
> 
> edit log:  
> sept. 24 2018 — fixed two (2) typos

Happiness is only a distant memory. Each day stretches on for an eternity, and it leaves Kyle drained and exhausted before the afternoon is done. He can't help but feel he's done something wrong and that God is punishing him for it, stripping him of his childish humanity.

Pain is what he can feel the most—pain is what reminds him he's still remotely alive and human. The thighs and stomach aren't enough to satiate the urge to feel, however, but he knows people can find out easily if he hurts his arms; Stan's face when he found out was too much to bear, and Kyle's best friend doesn't deserve to be hurt or disappointed. Not like this.

Satiating one urge diminishes the other; throwing up makes his thighs and arms feel less devoid of feeling, and cutting relieves him of the physical sickness of self hatred. He finds they both work fantastically on days he has to shower but he can get away with blade work just fine without it. Lately, though, he's taken to alternating; throwing up before getting into one running shower, and cutting before getting into the next. But the pattern is growing old, and he feels it won't do him any good for much longer.

Today is a day where Kyle feels emptier; nothing has allowed him to feel alive. He feels more detached than usual, like every sense in his body is just barely functional. Where fresh wounds lie open he feels only empty stings and disappointment. The urge to throw up is absent, meaning the only thing left to do is to go to bed. Nights are dreamless when they aren't sleepless. Tomorrow may yet bring feeling.

Tomorrow is a new day.


End file.
